INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL BOUNDARIES
Physical boundaries are clear: fences, yards, etc. Non-physical boundaries (needs, wants, values, expectations, limits and consequences) are not as clear, yet imperative.
boundary related QUESTIONS
Why do I feel 'emptiness' at times?
Why do I feel disconnected from my partner?
How do I communicate boundaries?
What if I upset him/her when setting boundaries?
Why do I feel guilty stating my needs and limits?
I don't want to be controlling, but how can I get him/her to stop doing [that hurtful thing]?
How do I help someone in need, while maintaining boundaries?
Do I overly-please others to avoid conflict?
Why is it difficult for me to say 'No' or hear 'No'?
SENSE OF SELF
WITHOUT BOUNDARIES WE LOSE OURSELVES
4 MAIN BOUNDARY PROBLEMS
ACCORDING TO DRS HENRY CLOUD AND JOHN TOWNSEND
Boundary problems are not limited to those that "can't say no." People who don't respect others' limits also have boundary problems. We can be more than one type, depending on the situation and person.
THE FOUNDATION FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
When we don't feel safe, secure and loved, it will have an distressing impact on the foundation of our relationships. Maladaptive protective behaviors, anxiety, frustrations, resentment, distrust, confusion, hurt, anger, etc., are often due to a lack of boundaries and the skills to clearly communicate them.
It is our job to keep ourselves emotionally safe. We set ourselves up for disappointment, resentment, anger, pain, and self-resentment, if we share aspects of ourselves with people (including friends and family) that have been judgmental, shaming, neglecting, dismissing, or emotionally immature. We need to discern (based on past experiences) who is capable of connecting with us at richer, high-levels of authenticity and vulnerability.
WORKSHEETS & MORE INFO
BUILD BALANCED BOUNDARES
ASSESS YOUR BOUNDARY SCALE