MINDFUL

SELF-COMPASSION

MINDFUL SELF-COMPASSION (msc) 

MSC partners with Compassion-focused Therapy (CFT), and is an action-oriented, skills-building method for well-being. It is an evidence-based practice that increases motivation, goal-achievement, self-kindness, emotional health, and authentic, connected relationships.

breakthrough patterns

Hundreds of studies prove that when you’re caught up in self-criticism or overly indulgence you’re likely more stressed, less likely to see clearly, more apt to fail, have increased patterns of anxiety, depression and relationship distress.

self-compassion is balance

It takes courage to change how you treat yourself. Why? When practicing Self-compassion, you come head-to-head with rigid false beliefs and daunting maladaptive protective strategies, like the Inner Critic.

The following summarizes patterns of Self-IndulgenceSelf-Criticism and balanced Self-Compassion

 

IMPORTANT NOTE

Without a foundation of compassionate self-care (Self-Compassion) we tend to get stuck in Self-Indulgence or Self-Criticism - and can swing from one extreme to the other subconsciously.

self-critical

berating

Shames Emotions
Over-analyzing
Overly Strict & Self-punishing
Perfectionist
Extreme Expectations
Controlling Inner Critic
Judgmental

Insecure Attachment
Compares with Others
Validation Seeking
Workaholic/Busyholic/OCD
Anxiety Producing

Tends to Flight Mode
Overly Future-based

self-compassion

kindness

Embraces Emotions
Self-acceptance
Self-discipline = Self-care
Realistic
Long-Term Planning

Achieves Goals
Increased Oxytocin
Active Self-Soothing
Unconditional Self-Love
Secure in Relationships

Balanced Boundaries
Balanced Self-care

Allows for Calm
Present Moment

self-indulgence

passive

Represses Emotions
Tends to Escape Reality
Unrestrained & Satiating
Rebellious
Short-term gain
Emotional Eating
Disassociating
Isolating

Insecure Attachment

Unbalanced Boundaries
Substance & Process Addictions
Depressive Symptoms

Tends to Freeze Mode
May Over-ruminate in the Past

 
 
 

freedom & empowerment

We learn to be passive or berating towards ourselves by internalizing how we were treated growing-up. This forms our programming - whether we like it or not. The good news is, you have all the power in the world to free yourself from chains of your old programming and chose how to treat yourself today and from now on.

If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation.”

Kristin Neff, PhD

pity vs compassion

Many people fear self-compassion is just a form of self-pity. In fact, self-compassion is an antidote to self-pity! 

Self-pity is isolating and results in feelings like "Why me?" and "Poor me.”

Self-compassion recognizes that life is hard for everyone, yet we can persevere through suffering. It says "I Can!"

PTSD RECOVERY

Research shows that veterans, who strengthened their ability to be kind to themselves with Mindful Self-Compassion have exceptionally higher rates of recovery, for conditions such as PTSD, addictions and other dysfunctions. https://self-compassion.org/the-research/

3 main benefits of msc

makes us happy

Activates the pleasure centers in our brain, including oxytocin production

makes us attractive

A kind heart, and self-compassion radiates attractive qualities

REWIRES OUR BRAIN

Self-compassion becomes our new programming, with time and practice 

SELF-COMPASSION

Qualities of compassion are patience and wisdom; kindness and perseverance; forgiveness, empathy, warmth and resolve. These are qualities that result in Self Leadership, calm and, thus, access to our creative, higher intelligence. Self-compassion is a powerful, sustainable fuel source for well-being and overall success.

what if i get lazy?

A huge misconception in our society is if you aren’t hard on yourself, you won’t succeed and you’ll get lazy or weak. “I berated myself to get stuff done. How else would I prove I was smart or worthy enough to be valued or loved?”

SELF-CRITICAL

Our brain interprets harsh inner criticism (Inner Critic) the same way it does an external threat - triggering the fight-or-flight, stress-response system. And inhibiting access to your higher creativity and executive functioning. You may be so used to berating yourself that you're unaware of it.

BERATING DOESN'T WORK LONG-TERM

Self-criticism is quicksand. It may look like a sandy short-cut to success by giving you a quick jolt of action, but long-term it slows you down, disengages you from self-care, and undermines long-term performance. Over time, this elevated stress wears on you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

LESS

SELF-COMPASSION

Depression
Anxiety
Stress
Repressed Emotions and Shame
Loneliness
Relationship Distress
Fogginess/Confusion/Lack of Purpose
All or Nothing Thinking
Lack of Goal Attainment
Emotions Consume or Overwhelm You

MORE

SELF-COMPASSION

Joy
Capacity to Self-sooth
Calm
Accept Emotions and Forgive
Sense of Belonging & Connection
Real Loving Relationships
Clarity and Sense of Purpose
Balanced Thinking
Accomplish Goals
Emotions Inform and Motivate You

MINDFULNESS VS. MINDFUL SELF-COMPASSION

Mindfulness focuses primarily on acceptance of experience itself
    Self-compassion focuses more on caring for the experiencer (you).

Mindfulness asks, “What am I experiencing right now?” 
    Self-compassion asks, “What do I need right now?”

Mindfulness says, “Feel your suffering with spacious awareness.” 
    Self-compassion says, “Be kind to yourself when you suffer.”

3 key elements of msc

1

COMMON HUMANITY

I’m not Alone

Suffering is Part of Being Human

2

self-kindness

Nurturance, Self-care, Balanced Discipline

(Not passive or punishing)

3

mindfulness

Awareness & Acceptance within 
Present Moment

Self Leadership

“The only way to eventually free ourselves from debilitating pain, therefore, is to be with it as it is. The only way out is through.”

Kristin Neff, PhD

 

worksheets & MORE

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relating to yourself

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self-compassion

letters

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conscious

complaining

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oxytocin

boosters

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daily EMOTIONAL

HYGIENE

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STRENGTHEN SOOTHING SYSTEM

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mindful self-leadership

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inner child 

guided meditations

 

If you are experiencing a crisis or an emergency dial 911 or Crisis Response at 602.222.9444

© 2020 Copyright Creating Your Balance LLC

Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.