Somatic Attachment Focused EMDR

Physical boundaries are clear: fences, yards, etc. Non-physical boundaries are not as clear, yet imperative for a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

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There are about 10 to 20 unprocessed memories that are responsible for most of the pain and suffering in our lives. These memories contain the emotions, perceptions and sensations you experienced at the time of the event.
Francine Shapiro, PhD

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy facilitates the accessing and processing of traumatic memories and other adverse life experience to bring these to an adaptive resolution.

After successful treatment, distress is relieved, negative beliefs are reformulated, and current day physiological symptoms such as anxiety, panic and other triggered emotions are reduced or completely resolved. I utilize Neurotek tactile bilateral stimulation pulsars for EMDR treatment.

Changing memories that form the way we see ourselves also changes the way we view others. Therefore, our relationships, job performance, what we are willing to do or are able to resist, all move in a positive direction.
Francine Shapiro, PhD

Emotional processing is #1 for nervous system regulation and mental, emotional and relational health

Unprocessed emotions and insecurities
Unprocessed core beliefs about ourselves and others
Leads to chronic nervous system activation and...
Maladaptive coping: Four F's for temporary relief
Only to feel painfully powerless, stuck in the blame-or-shame Trauma Triangle, grappling for a sense of power, only to end up more powerless

We need emotional processing and secure relating skills... to prevent the cycle from continuing...

The 'Ripple Effect' is how processing one memory will have a healing effect on all other experiences within that type of experience. For instance, processing a memory of rejection allows for healing all experiences of feeling rejected.

What is Complex Trauma?

IDENTIFY ATTACHMENT-BASED TRAUMA AND MEMORIES

Trauma that is developmental or interpersonal.
Impacts our core self-worth.
Attachment trauma by parent or caregiver results in 'not trusting'self or others.
It feels not safe to feel safe.
It feels not safe to feel lovable (the hope/wish to be loved is too painful due to repeated disappointment and/or rejection).
Longing to not be alone, yet fearful of attaching.
Results in high anxiety, shame, triggers and depression, reactivity and lack of comfortability in relationships.
Insecure attachment styles: anxious, avoidant or disorganized

Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an
empathetic witness.
Peter Levine, PhD

Self-Leadership 'Wise Mind' Over Feelings, Thoughts and Beliefs

Much like our digestive process, ALL of our emotions are our own — even if influenced or triggered from an event or person! No one can make you digest food or not. No one can make you feel a certain emotion or not. Realistically and scientifically, we have 100% responsibility (power) to understand (assess genuine wants and needs) and process (metabolize) our own emotions.

Wise Mind and Emotional Health Skills

Simply put, Wise Mind is your ability to take 100% responsibility for ALL of your emotions, in order to...

Connect with, oversee and guide thoughts and emotions
Untangle thoughts from emotions (tangled together, thoughts and emotions can cause havoc, anxiety, confusion, chronic stress, depression and 'stuckness')
Process emotions and understand your wants and authenticity
Connect with you actual Self
Calm your nervous system
Remain out of the Drama Trauma Triangle

Without Wise Mind

Without Wise Mind, disconnected from bodily feelings, or trying to 'push down' 'avoid' 'think' 'change' 'gaslight yourself' or 'judge' your way through them, leaves you susceptible to:

Undisciplined thoughts and emotions
Outer Child (reactivity) or depression.
"Amygdala Hijack"
Maladaptive reactions (fight-flight-fawn-freeze)
Reactions can occur in seconds, seems AUTOMATIC
Fogged prefrontal cortex (attention)
Chronic stress (adrenalin and cortisol)
Behavioral and mood disorders
Chronic inflammation, medical conditions

Results of complex trauma are difficulty processing emotion and having stable relationships. These symptoms are addressed in EMDR. When the client experiences what has been missing in the present moment, it activates the sadness, grieving and healing of finally having the longing need for care and compassion met.

Deborah Kennard, PhD

Wise Mind for Inner Child & Outer Child

Outer Child

Reactivity

Lizard brain (fight, flight, freeze)
Reactive, not authentically you
Causes havoc on our lives
Maladaptively trying to avoid feelings
Over-expressing (fight)
Depressing your emotions (freeze)
Avoiding to 'flee' emotions (flight)
Causing more anxiety, OCD, ADHD, addictions, depression, etc.
Dysfunctional relating patterns

Wise Mind

Your Balance

Oversees Thoughts & Emotions

Guides, Reasonable, Logical

Observes thoughts and emotions
Gives you power to understand and process EVERY emotional experience
Self-Leadership, Self-Compassion
Self-Discipline, Self-Secure, Self-Care
Discover the purpose of each emotion, your genuine wants, needed limits (boundaries), etc.
Also known as 'The Observing Self' in many therapy modalities

Inner Child

Emotional Mind

Mammalian brain
Authentic, genuinely "You"
Doesn't go away when we turn 18
We never 'grow-out' out of emotions
No right or wrong way to feel
"Inner Child" emotions: spontaneous, imaginative, messy, erratic, needy, temper anger, playful, etc.
"Inner Teen" emotions: like desire, urge to rebel, rage, etc.

Outer Child

Inner Child

Inner Child

Disturbing experiences become stored in a different way than other experiences. They're stored discombobulated in the nervous system with all aspects of the original experience. Present events trigger the dysfunctionally stored memory and emotional activation, resulting in an overreaction.

The goal of Self-Compassion practice is to become a compassionate mess. All of our issues - like entitlement, anger, and self-loathing will be there, but can we hold them with compassion so we're not overwhelmed by them.

Kristin Neff, PhD

Emotions are Neurochemicals and Hormones

HAPPY / CALM IS FULL BODY

Happy is a full-body state of calm
We are meant to be calm, safe and with a 'Sense of Belonging' unless there is an immediate threat to our safety or connection needs
Sometimes in order to be calm and happy, we need to 'feel through' (process) our PROTECTIVE EMOTIONS.

PROTECTIVE EMOTIONS

ANGER: blame, resentment, etc. (purpose: protection, boundaries, values)
SAD: hurt, disappointment, etc. (purpose: healing, releasing, rejuvenation)
FEAR: worry, jealousy, anxiety, etc. (purpose: future-focus, safety, planning)
SHAME: self-blame, regrets, should's, bad, etc. (purpose: belonging, moral compass)

ENERGIZING EMOTIONS

INTEREST: curious, want, desire, valuing, etc.
PASSION: motivated, creative, excited, etc.

Delivering the body from functioning as a storage room for suppressed emotions brings a sense of natural love and ease, a spaciousness, that we commonly call happiness.
Somesh Curti, PhD

Approach

Thoughts vs Emotions

Thoughts are Like a Map of a Town

Much like a map, thoughts stem from the past to help guide us

Thoughts stem from our past or what we've learned from others
Thoughts can be lessons-learned and future what-if's and planning
Much of what we say we feel, are really thoughts/beliefs. "I feel you're unfair." "I feel stupid." "You hurt my feelings." These are thoughts/beliefs!
Indirect, not the true essence of who we are in present moment
Not always rational nor factual
Although thoughts are, of course, incredibly useful!
Can tell you your core beliefs

Approach

Emotions are Being in the Town Real Time

If you want to know how you feel, how do you feel about it right now?

Direct links to your present, authenticity
Neurochemicals and hormones felt physiologically throughout the body
Based on real or perceived events, thoughts or beliefs
Can trigger and entangle with thoughts/beliefs, leading to opinions, beliefs, perceptions, based on past experiences (this has pros and cons)
Inform you, "inner compass" of genuine wants, values, needed limits (boundaries)
Just as hunger motivates to find food, emotions motivate for other needs, like safety and connection
Fuel, ignite blood flow, vigilance, attention, and other physiological reactions to flee from danger, accomplish tasks, align with values, connect with loved-ones
ALWAYS 'on' even though subtle at times

Nobody is responsible for your own sadness except for you. Nobody is responsible for your fear except you. You are the only person responsible for any and all of your emotions... positive, negative, and everything in between.

Chris Cade

Nervous System Chart

Learn more about the Emotional Nervous System with Polyvagal Therapy and Nervous System Science for a more thorough understanding of Emotional and Mental Health and Self-Leadership Skills.

Attend to depression in a grounded, empathetic way. It can stand up for your lost dreams and clear everything inside that threatens those dreams. In essence, giving you a new life.
Karla McLaren, MEd

Emotion Videos

If we don't unpack shame, we cannot reach our core of worthiness and self-love. Things like positive affirmations are useful but they are temporary support to balance negative judgments, like painkillers to diminish the pain temporarily without addressing the cause - in this case, suppressed shame.
Somesh Curti, PhD

Worksheets and Practices

EMOTIONAL HEALTH SKILLS

PROCESSING EMOTIONS

We can't just choose to be happy, but we can choose to be kind ourselves when we're sad. Pain passes more quickly when we don't berate ourselves for feeling.
Lori Deschene

Let's Talk

SEEING NEW CLIENTS AND HIRING COUNSELORS

Schedule a free consultation or contact me if you'd like.

As a Clinical Supervisor, I also have openings for interns and LAC's.

CONTACT ME

Chronic Nervous System Activation Stress and Maladaptive Coping

Nervous System Informed IFS Therapy

Learn how to get unstuck from automatic reactions and behaviors, activated and triggered emotions, automatic assumptions, insecurities, thoughts and limiting beliefs and relational patterns that impact your nervous system, both causes and effects.

Neurochemicals and Symptoms
Core Beliefs and Trauma Triangle Patterns
Maladaptive Reactions Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn
Secure Sense of Self vs Insecurities
Secure Attachment vs Insecure Attachment

When repeatedly criticized, ignored or traumatized in childhood, we learn to survive by over-relying on the use of one or two of the 4F's. This severely impairs our ability to relax into an undefended state, circumscribing us to a very narrow, impoverished experience of life.

Somatic Attachment Focused EMDR

There are about 10 to 20 unprocessed memories that are responsible for most of the pain and suffering in our lives. These memories contain the emotions, perceptions and sensations you experienced at the time of the event. Francine Shapiro, PhD

What is EMDR?

Changing memories that form the way we see ourselves also changes the way we view others. Therefore, our relationships, job performance, what we are willing to do or are able to resist, all move in a positive direction. Francine Shapiro, PhD

The 'Ripple Effect' is how processing one memory will have a healing effect on all other experiences within that type of experience. For instance, processing a memory of rejection allows for healing all experiences of feeling rejected.

What is Complex Trauma?

Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness. Peter Levine, PhD

Self-Leadership 'Wise Mind' Over Feelings, Thoughts and Beliefs

Wise Mind and Emotional Health Skills

Without Wise Mind

Deborah Kennard, PhD

Wise Mind for Inner Child & Outer Child

Outer Child

Wise Mind

Inner Child

Outer Child

Inner Child

Inner Child

Disturbing experiences become stored in a different way than other experiences. They're stored discombobulated in the nervous system with all aspects of the original experience. Present events trigger the dysfunctionally stored memory and emotional activation, resulting in an overreaction.

The goal of Self-Compassion practice is to become a compassionate mess. All of our issues - like entitlement, anger, and self-loathing will be there, but can we hold them with compassion so we're not overwhelmed by them.

Kristin Neff, PhD

Emotions are Neurochemicals and Hormones

Delivering the body from functioning as a storage room for suppressed emotions brings a sense of natural love and ease, a spaciousness, that we commonly call happiness. Somesh Curti, PhD

Thoughts vs Emotions

Nobody is responsible for your own sadness except for you. Nobody is responsible for your fear except you. You are the only person responsible for any and all of your emotions... positive, negative, and everything in between.

Chris Cade

Nervous System Chart

Attend to depression in a grounded, empathetic way. It can stand up for your lost dreams and clear everything inside that threatens those dreams. In essence, giving you a new life. Karla McLaren, MEd

Emotion Videos

Worksheets and Practices

EMOTIONAL HEALTH SKILLS

PROCESSING EMOTIONS

We can't just choose to be happy, but we can choose to be kind ourselves when we're sad. Pain passes more quickly when we don't berate ourselves for feeling. Lori Deschene

SEEING NEW CLIENTS AND HIRING COUNSELORS

Chronic Nervous System Activation Stress and Maladaptive Coping

Nervous System Informed IFS Therapy

Pete Walker, MS cPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

There are about 10 to 20 unprocessed memories that are responsible for most of the pain and suffering in our lives. These memories contain the emotions, perceptions and sensations you experienced at the time of the event.
Francine Shapiro, PhD

Changing memories that form the way we see ourselves also changes the way we view others. Therefore, our relationships, job performance, what we are willing to do or are able to resist, all move in a positive direction.
Francine Shapiro, PhD

Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an
empathetic witness.
Peter Levine, PhD

Delivering the body from functioning as a storage room for suppressed emotions brings a sense of natural love and ease, a spaciousness, that we commonly call happiness.
Somesh Curti, PhD

Attend to depression in a grounded, empathetic way. It can stand up for your lost dreams and clear everything inside that threatens those dreams. In essence, giving you a new life.
Karla McLaren, MEd

We can't just choose to be happy, but we can choose to be kind ourselves when we're sad. Pain passes more quickly when we don't berate ourselves for feeling.
Lori Deschene

Pete Walker, MS
cPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving