Image by Japheth Mast

INNER CRITIC WORK

SELF-PROTECTION & SELF-DISCIPLINE 

mentor your inner critic

WHY INNER CRITIC WORK?

Gaining awareness of your self-talk and the "story" you are telling yourself is profound and transformational work. Learn to mentor your own inner critical thoughts.

Without awareness, our Inner Critics get in the way of many aspects of our lives, including...

Attaining goals and aspirations

Living aligned with your values

Feeling moments of calm and fulfillment

Preventing resentment and reactivity

Processing stress and painful emotions

Maintaining balanced boundaries

Enjoying secure, loving relationships

Breaking-through anxiety and depression

Resolving substance and process addictions

“If you are continually judging and criticizing yourself while trying to be kind to others, you are drawing artificial boundaries and distinctions that only lead to feelings of separation and isolation.”

Kristin Neff, PhD

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Inner Critic is the part of you that judges you, guilt trips you, compares you to others, and tells you who you “should” be. It is fueled by early childhood programming, subconscious beliefs, and overall life experiences.

Paradoxically, Inner Critic's overall purpose is to PROTECT you from feeling disappointed and shame. Inner Critic takes its job very seriously. Yet, it tends to be overbearing, berating, shaming, and counterproductive.

We tend to believe Inner Critic's statements - no matter how irrational and berating -  because it's been a part of our inner dialogue for as long as we can REMEMBER - since about age 7.

As part of our inner dialogue, Inner Critic is composed of beliefs, perceptions, and fears. It tries to manage our experience by telling us when we’re doing something right or wrong, or if we are good or bad.

We acquire this part of our mind (aspect of the superego) as young children, starting around age 7. It continues to develop throughout our lives. 

Twins on a Skateboard

"The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our 'inside critics' have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots."

Susan Kennedy

Good Grades

Inner Critic strives to ensure we 'fit in' in hopes of feeling accepted, safe and loved. Since childhood, this part of our psyche has internalized the expectations of our culture, family and friends.

Inner Critic might blatantly attack you, telling you're worthless, ugly, unlovable or a loser. It may also be more subtle by guilt-tripping you into saying 'yes' when you mean 'no,' make you a people-pleaser, or push you to be 'perfect' to get approval and validation.

 

You may end up resenting yourself and others when you don't get the approval and validation your Inner Critic is relentlessly striving for.

"Your Inner Critic reaffirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true."

Athena Laz - cool first name! ;) 

You may find yourself subconsciously rebelling against Inner Critic's incessant demands. This rebelling is similar to how a teenager rails against a parent's rules and control.

 

This results in procrastination, over-indulgence, reactivity in relationships, outer criticism, angry outbursts, addictions, maladaptive protective strategies, and patterns of self-sabotaging, such as failed diets, splurges, and binging.

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“Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love [and guidance].”

Amy Leigh Mercree

AWARENESS IS KEY

INNER CRITIC CAUSES ANXIETY, STRESS, SHAME AND MORE

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“self-criticism is A SURVIVAL behavior to ensure acceptance within the social group. Even though the alpha dog EATS first, the dog that shows his belly when snarled at still gets his share. Self-criticism, a submissive behavior, IS ABASING ourselves before imaginary otherS—AS IF WE'LL BE rewardED with a few crumbs from the table.”

Kristin Neff, PhD

INNER CRITIC VIDEOS

WORKING WITH YOUR INNER CRITIC

STEP-BY-STEP PROCESS 

INNER MENTOR YOUR INNER CRITIC

 

1

ASSESSMENT

Although our Inner Critics are unique to our own experiences, there are common ones, known as the Inner Critic Types. Take the assessment to help you identify yours.

Take Assessment

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2

AWARENESS

Unawareness is the main issue in of itself! Without awareness, Inner Critic has a way of taking over like a dictator. Left to it's own demise, it uses fear to control you in many aspects of your life.

Complete Worksheet

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3

INNER MENTOR

With practice, you build the ability to be an Inner Mentor (also known as 'Inner Champion') to Inner Critic - providing yourself with inspiration, wisdom, and balanced discipline (instead of self-berating).

Complete Worksheet

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4

C.A.T.C.H.

With awareness, you can begin C.A.T.C.H.-ing inner critical remarks throughout the day. This practice has the essential steps that allow you to unblend so you may begin Inner Mentoring your Inner Critic.

Complete Worksheet

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INNER CRITIC TYPES

The first 12 minutes describes the inner critic types

the rest is a hypnosis to use nightly for 2 weeks

PERFECTIONIST

Sets impossibly high standards. Has difficulty saying something is complete. Thinks perfection will result in feeling worthy and lovable. It's expectations likely reflect the expectations of those who were important to you in childhood.

DESTROYER

Attacks your fundamental self-worth and even your right to exist. Convinces you to feel inherently flawed and unworthy of basic respect and kindness. The most debilitating critic. Stems from abuse, trauma, or childhood emotional neglect.

INNER CONTROLLER

Fears it will lose control at any moment. Attempts to manage your impulses to a fault: eating, drinking, etc. Polarized with over-indulging and addictive impulses. It's shaming and berating efforts to protect you from yourself tend to fail.

IMAGE CONTROLLER

Cares about your looks to a fault. Obsesses and criticizes. May invite others to criticize you too. Distracts from core wounds of feeling unlovable. It's convinced it can control others' love and acceptance by controlling your appearance.

UNDERMINER

Makes direct attacks on your value so you stay small and not take chances. Undermines confidence and self-esteem. Over-protects you from possibility of outshining others. Thinks you're unable to handle judgment or failure.

TASKMASTER

Fears mediocre, laziness and being judged a failure. Whips you into overdrive. Ignites more anxiety than necessary, causing toxic stress and the health ailments associated. It's pushing may trigger procrastination, rebellion, and self-sabotaging.

MOLDER

Forces you into a certain mold based on standards held by society, culture and family. Attempts to protect you from being abandoned, shamed or rejected. Keeps you from being in touch with and expressing your true nature.

GUILT TRIPPER

Stuck in the past - for wrongs you have done or people you have hurt. Concerned about relationships and holds you to standards prescribed by your culture and family. Refuses to allow you self-forgiveness as it is terrified you'll repeat mistakes.

 

If you are experiencing a crisis or an emergency dial 911 or Crisis Response at 602.222.9444

© 2020 Copyright Creating Your Balance LLC

Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.