Image by Japheth Mast

INNER CRITIC WORK

SELF-PROTECTION & SELF-DISCIPLINE 

LEARN TO MENTOR

YOUR INNER CRITIC

WHY PRACTICE INNER CRITIC WORK?

Gaining awareness of your self-talk and the "story" you are telling yourself is profound and transformational work. Learn to mentor your own inner critical thoughts.

 

Without awareness, our Inner Critics get in the way of many aspects of our lives, including...

  • Attaining goals and aspirations

  • Living inline with authentic values (rather than toxic shame)

  • Feeling calm and self-fulfillment

  • Gaining Self-Leadership over anger, resentment, and reactivity

  • Maintaining balanced boundaries

  • Enjoying secure, loving relationships

  • Overcoming anxiety disorders and depressive states

  • Breaking-through substance and process addictions

what is an inner critic?

Inner Critic is the part of you that judges you, demeans you, and tells you who you “should” be. It is fueled by shameIt undermines your confidence and makes you feel bad about yourself. 

Paradoxically, its overall purpose has been to PROTECT you. Inner Critic takes its job very seriously. Yet, it tends to be overbearing, berating, and even counterproductive.

WATCH video FOR overview

BELIEFS AND FEARS

As part of our inner dialogue, Inner Critic is composed of beliefs, perceptions, and fears. It tries to manage our experience by telling us when we’re doing something right or wrong, or if we are good or bad.

EARLY DEVELOPMENT

We acquire this part of our mind (aspect of the superego) as young children, starting around age 7. It continues to develop throughout our lives. 

 

We tend to believe Inner Critic's statements - no matter how irrational and berating -  because it's been a part of our inner dialogue for as long as we can REMEMBER!

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"The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our 'inside critics' have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots."

Susan Kennedy

FEARS NOT BELONGING

Inner Critic strives to ensure we “fit in” in hopes of feeling accepted, loved, and safe. Since childhood, it has internalized the wants and needs of our culture, family and friends.

 

Inner Critic might guilt you into saying 'yes' when you mean 'no,' and make you a people-pleaser and even extra nice to toxic people. You may resent this extra niceness later and wonder why you allowed guilt and shame to drive your life.

rebelling against inner critic

You may also find yourself subconsciously rebelling against Inner Critic's incessant demands. This rebelling is similar to how a teenager rails against a parent's rules and control.

 

Typically, the more demanding your Inner Critic is (internalized parent), the more rebellious-type thoughts, behaviors, and patterns you have built against it.

 

This results in procrastination, over-indulgence, reactivity in relationships, angry outbursts, addictive behaviors, maladaptive protective strategies, and patterns of self-sabotaging, such as failed diets, splurges, and binging.

Lone Walk

"Your Inner Critic reaffirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true."

Athena Laz - cool first name! ;) 

STEPS TO INNER MENTOR YOUR INNER CRITIC

 

1

ASSESSMENT

Although, each of our Inner Critic's are unique, there are common types, known as the Inner Critic Types. Take the assessment to help you identify yours. Then review the Inner Critic Types summary below.

 

2

AWARENESS

Unawareness is the main issue in of itself! Without awareness, Inner Critic has a way of taking over like a dictator. Left to it's own demise, it uses fear to control you in every moment and aspect of your life.

Watch the 2 videos above prior to completing this worksheet.

 

3

C.A.T.C.H.

With awareness, you can begin C.A.T.C.H.-ing inner critical remarks throughout the day. This practice has the essential steps that allow you to unblend so you may begin Inner Mentoring your Inner Critic.

 

 

 

4

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assessment

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awareness

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c.a.t.c.h.

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fueled by repressed shame

Inner Critic is fueled by repressed toxic shame and attempts to shape us in ways that conform with others’ expectations (perceived or real), and overall societal demands of what is considered good and successful. You will learn to access both authentic and inauthentic (toxic) shame to gain clarity and empowerment.

INNER CRITIC VS INNER MENTOR

With practice, you build the ability to be an Inner Mentor to Inner Critic - providing yourself with inspiration, wisdom, and balanced discipline (instead of shaming and berating).

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visualize

inner mentor

Girl with Dogs

“Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love [and guidance].”

Amy Leigh Mercree

INNER CRITIC TYPES

 

PERFECTIONIST

Sets impossibly high standards. Has difficulty saying something is complete. Thinks perfection will result in feeling worthy and lovable. It's expectations likely reflect the expectations of those who were important to you in childhood.

DESTROYER

Attacks your fundamental self-worth and even your right to exist. Convinces you to feel inherently flawed and unworthy of basic respect and kindness. The most debilitating critic. Stems from abuse, trauma, or childhood emotional neglect.

INNER CONTROLLER

Fears it will lose control at any moment. Attempts to manage your impulses to a fault: eating, drinking, etc. Polarized with over-indulging and addictive impulses. It's shaming and berating efforts to protect you from yourself tend to fail.

IMAGE CONTROLLER

Cares about your looks to a fault. Obsesses and criticizes. May invite others to criticize you too. Distracts from core wounds of feeling unlovable. It's convinced it can control others' love and acceptance by controlling your appearance.

UNDERMINER

Makes direct attacks on your value so you stay small and not take chances. Undermines confidence and self-esteem. Over-protects you from possibility of outshining others. Thinks you're unable to handle judgment or failure.

TASKMASTER

Fears mediocre, laziness and being judged a failure. Whips you into overdrive. Ignites more anxiety than necessary, causing toxic stress and the health ailments associated. It's pushing may trigger procrastination, rebellion, and self-sabotaging.

MOLDER

Forces you into a certain mold based on standards held by society, culture and family. Attempts to protect you from being abandoned, shamed or rejected. Keeps you from being in touch with and expressing your true nature.

GUILT TRIPPER

Stuck in the past - for wrongs you have done or people you have hurt. Concerned about relationships and holds you to standards prescribed by your culture and family. Refuses to allow you self-forgiveness as it is terrified you'll repeat mistakes.

 

INNER CRITIC TYPES explained

and hypnosis session

to use nightly for 2 weeks

 
 
 
 

 

If you are experiencing a crisis or an emergency dial 911 or Crisis Response at 602.222.9444

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Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.