LEARN TO MENTOR
YOUR INNER CRITIC
WHY PRACTICE INNER CRITIC WORK?
Gaining awareness of your self-talk and the "story" you are telling yourself is profound and transformational work. Learn to mentor your own inner critical thoughts.
Without awareness, our Inner Critics get in the way of many aspects of our lives, including...
Attaining goals and aspirations
Living inline with authentic values
Accessing calm and emotional health
Gaining Self-Leadership over anger, resentment, and reactivity
Maintaining balanced boundaries
Enjoying secure, loving relationships
Overcoming anxiety disorders and depressive states
Breaking-through substance and process addictions
what is an inner critic?
Inner Critic is the part of you that judges you, demeans you, and tells you who you “should” be. It is fueled by shame. It undermines your confidence and makes you feel bad about yourself.
Paradoxically, its overall purpose has been to PROTECT you. Inner Critic takes its job very seriously. Yet, it tends to be overbearing, berating, and even counterproductive.
WATCH video FOR overview
BELIEFS AND FEARS
As part of our inner dialogue, Inner Critic is composed of beliefs, perceptions, and fears. It tries to manage our experience by telling us when we’re doing something right or wrong, or if we are good or bad.
We acquire this part of our mind (aspect of the superego) as young children, starting around age 7. It continues to develop throughout our lives.
We tend to believe Inner Critic's statements - no matter how irrational and berating they are - because it has been a part of our inner dialogue for as long as we can REMEMBER!
"The critical voices in our own heads are far more vicious than what we might hear from the outside. Our 'inside critics' have intimate knowledge of us and can zero in on our weakest spots."
FEARS NOT BELONGING
Inner Critic strives to ensure we “fit in” in hopes of feeling accepted, loved, and safe. Since childhood, it has internalized the wants and needs of our culture, family and friends.
Inner Critic might guilt you into saying 'yes' when you mean 'no,' and make you extra nice to toxic people. You may resent this extra niceness later and wonder why you allowed guilt and shame to drive your life.
rebelling against inner critic
You may also find yourself subconsciously rebelling against Inner Critic's incessant demands. This can result in procrastination, over-indulgence, relationship distress, angry outbursts, addictive behaviors, and patterns of self-sabotaging, such as failed diets and bingeing.
"Your Inner Critic reaffirms untruths about yourself that you have internalized to be true."
Athena Laz - cool first name! ;)
STEPS TO INNER MENTOR YOUR INNER CRITIC
Unawareness is the main issue in of itself! Without awareness, Inner Critic has a way of taking over like a dictator. Left to it's own demise, it uses fear to control you in every moment and aspect of your life. Thus, Inner Critic Work starts with using the Awareness Worksheet once you finish reading the rest of this page.
Although, each of our Inner Critic's are unique, there are common types, known as the Inner Critic Types. Once you learn the types you will take an Assessment to help you identify yours.
With awareness, you can begin C.A.T.C.H.-ing inner critical remarks throughout the day. This practice has the essential steps that allow you to unblend so you may begin Inner Mentoring your Inner Critic.
Important Note: Inner Critics can be involved with, and even cause panic attacks, shame attacks and emotional flashbacks - all of which you can learn to work through. It takes consistent practice to build the ability to Inner Mentor yourself through these overwhelming experiences.
fueled by repressed shame
Inner Critic is fueled by repressed toxic shame and attempts to shape us in ways that conform with others’ expectations (perceived or real), and overall societal demands of what is considered good and successful. You will learn to access both authentic and inauthentic (toxic) shame to gain clarity and empowerment.
INNER CRITIC VS INNER MENTOR
With practice, you build the ability to be an Inner Mentor to Inner Critic - providing yourself with inspiration, wisdom, and balanced discipline (instead of shaming and berating).
“Your inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love [and guidance].”
Amy Leigh Mercree