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LOVE IS A VERB

THE FIVE SELF-LOVE LANGUAGES

 

Adapted from The Five Love Languages®, discover ways to create an actualized, loving relationship with yourself. Action-oriented self-care and self-love is essential. The Five Love Languages give us an understanding of what love means to each of us, and how we can make sure we are 'speaking' our own love language(s).

 

SELF-LOVE IN ACTION

APPLYING THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES FOR SELF

"LOVE IS NOT WORDS, IT'S ACTIONS. LOVE ISN'T FEELINGS, IT'S A DECISION"

Steven Furtick

Image by Darius Bashar

WHAT IS LOVE?

It turns out, in order to feel loved - whether it be from our partner or ourselves - we need to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood. We can't fake feeling loved. We can try, but this will inevitably lead to confusion, maybe even self-resentment and stress-reactions

 

The Five Love Languages offer tangible ways to love ourselves and others; ways to truly feel seen, heard, valued and understood. They are: Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. 

WHAT IS SELF-LOVE?

It is essential to be loving towards ourselves. In fact, it is our #1 job, along with ensuring safety. Love is a verb. If you are not prioritizing and loving yourself, you will inevitably have symptoms - mental, emotional, physiological, behavioral, relational, physical and possibly medical symptoms (disease).

 

You cannot get actual self-love from outside yourself - not from others; not from substances, awards or validation; not from the past or even from the future. Self-love exists in the present moment and it is in action-oriented. The Five Love Languages (along with Mindful Self-Compassion practices) give you tangible ways to be loving towards yourself. Ways to be seen, heard, valued, and understood by yourself. 

Little Girl Reading in Bed

Love is not just feelings of care or desire. If your partner isn't spending QUALITY time with you, HOLDING YOU, GIVING TO YOU, or interested in what you have to say - OR WORSE - they are LYING OR RIDICULING YOU... The words 'I love you' are not enough. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE yourself they are, EVEN IF YOU WANT TO. THE SAME GOES FOR SELF-LOVE. LOVE a verb.

YOU CANNOT GET SELF-LOVE FROM OUTSIDE YOURSELF - NOT FROM OTHERS; NOT FROM AWARDS NOR VALIDATION; NOT FROM THE PAST OR FUTURE. SELF-LOVE EXISTS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT - it is intentional AND ACTION-ORIENTED.

 

FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

ACTUALIZED WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF

  • QUALITY

    TIME

    What do you enjoy doing with your free-time? Possibilities are endless. Enjoy a bath, a walk, coffee, movie, music, people-watching, travel, etc.    

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    WORDS OF AFFIRMATON

    Use words to appreciate, understand, compliment, and encourage yourself. Journaling is also powerfully loving and affirming. 

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    ACTS OF

    SERVICE

    There are infinite possibilities to be of service to yourself! Clean your home, prepare a meal, brush your teeth. Organize your closet. 

  • PHYSICAL

    TOUCH

    Cuddling with a cozy blanket, applying body lotion, enjoying a pedicure, getting a massage, hugs, sensual pleasures ;) and more... 

  • RECEIVING

    GIFTS

    Giving yourself gifts can be incredibly satisfying. From saving up for your dream car, to buying a cute t-shirt, to getting your favorite cereal.

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival."

Audre Lorde

 

SELF-CARE & SELF-COMPASSION

"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere."

the BUDDHA

 

APPLY aspects of msc

MINDFUL SELF-COMPASSION (MSC)

Cozy Woman covered with warm soft merino

MINDFULNESS VS MSC

Mindfulness focuses primarily on acceptance of experience itself. Mindful Self-Compassion focuses more on caring for the experiencer (you).

 

Mindfulness asks, “What am I experiencing right now?" Mindful Self-Compassion asks, “What do I need right now?”

Mindfulness says, “Feel your suffering with spacious awareness.” Mindful Self-Compassion says, “Be kind to yourself when you suffer.”

“OUR MOST BASIC EMOTIONAL NEED IS NOT TO FALL IN LOVE, BUT TO BE GENUINELY LOVED... LOVE GROWS OUT OF REASON AND CHOICE, NOT INSTINCT."

TO LOVE OURSELVES, WE MUST CHOOSE SELF-LOVING ACTION.  

Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages

 

 

SELF-CARE 101

"like being in a relationship, practicing self-care and self-love takes time, patience and a level of commitment."

Caitlin Killoren

 

WORKSHEETS

WRITTEN PRACTICES + GUIDED PRACTICES

 
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FIVE SELF-LOVE LANGUAGES

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OXYTOCIN BOOSTERS

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GROUNDING

EXERCISES

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daily simple comforts

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MINDFUL

SELF-COMPASSION

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daily EMOTIONAL

HYGIENE

 

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© 2020 Copyright Creating Your Balance LLC

Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.