LOVE IS A VERB
THE FIVE SELF-LOVE LANGUAGES
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Adapted from The Five Love Languages®, discover ways to create an actualized, loving relationship with yourself. Action-oriented self-care and self-love is essential. The Five Love Languages give us an understanding of what love means to each of us, and how we can make sure we are 'speaking' our own love language(s).
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SELF-LOVE IN ACTION
APPLYING THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES FOR SELF
"LOVE IS NOT WORDS, IT'S ACTIONS. LOVE ISN'T FEELINGS, IT'S A DECISION"
Steven Furtick
WHAT IS LOVE?
It turns out, in order to feel loved - whether it be from our partner or ourselves - we need to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood. We can't fake feeling loved. We can try, but this will inevitably lead to confusion, maybe even self-resentment and stress-reactions.
The Five Love Languages offer tangible ways to love ourselves and others; ways to truly feel seen, heard, valued and understood. They are: Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.
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WHAT IS SELF-LOVE?
​It is essential to be loving towards ourselves. In fact, it is our #1 job, along with ensuring safety. Love is a verb. If you are not prioritizing and loving yourself, you will inevitably have symptoms - mental, emotional, physiological, behavioral, relational, physical and possibly medical symptoms (disease).
You cannot get actual self-love from outside yourself - not from others; not from substances, awards or validation; not from the past or even from the future. Self-love exists in the present moment and it is in action-oriented. The Five Love Languages (along with Mindful Self-Compassion practices) give you tangible ways to be loving towards yourself. Ways to be seen, heard, valued, and understood by yourself.
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Love is not just feelings of care or desire. FOR EXAMPLE, If your partner isn't spending QUALITY time with you, HOLDING YOU, GIVING TO YOU, or interested in what you have to say - OR WORSE - they are LYING OR RIDICULING YOU... The words 'I love you' are not enough. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE yourself they are, EVEN IF YOU WANT TO. THE SAME GOES FOR SELF-LOVE. LOVE IS INTENTION. LOVE IS A verb.
YOU CANNOT GET SELF-LOVE FROM OUTSIDE YOURSELF - NOT FROM OTHERS; NOT FROM AWARDS NOR VALIDATION; NOT FROM THE PAST OR FUTURE. SELF-LOVE EXISTS IN THE PRESENT MOMENT - it is intentional AND ACTION-ORIENTED.
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FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
ACTUALIZED WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF
"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival."
Audre Lorde
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SELF-CARE & SELF-COMPASSION
"You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere."
the BUDDHA
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APPLY aspects of msc
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MINDFUL SELF-COMPASSION (MSC)
MINDFULNESS VS MSC
Mindfulness focuses primarily on acceptance of experience itself. Mindful Self-Compassion focuses more on caring for the experiencer (you).
Mindfulness asks, “What am I experiencing right now?" Mindful Self-Compassion asks, “What do I need right now?”
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Mindfulness says, “Feel your suffering with spacious awareness.” Mindful Self-Compassion says, “Be kind to yourself when you suffer.”
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“OUR MOST BASIC EMOTIONAL NEED IS NOT TO FALL IN LOVE, BUT TO BE GENUINELY LOVED... LOVE GROWS OUT OF REASON AND CHOICE, NOT INSTINCT."
TO LOVE OURSELVES, WE MUST CHOOSE SELF-LOVING ACTION.
Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages
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SELF-CARE 101
"like being in a relationship, practicing self-care and self-love takes time, patience and a level of commitment."
Caitlin Killoren
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WORKSHEETS
WRITTEN PRACTICES + GUIDED PRACTICES
FIVE SELF-LOVE LANGUAGES
OXYTOCIN BOOSTERS
GROUNDING
EXERCISES
daily simple comforts
MINDFUL
SELF-COMPASSION
