Divorce and Breakup Recovery
Evidence-based Practices and Video Tutorials
Available to begin immediately and included for free. Whether you're dealing with a divorce, a painful breakup, or repeated let-downs in dating and 'situationships,' this Breakup Recovery Program provides an empowering, process-oriented approach for you to feel better, faster by healing through the five stages of Breakup Recovery.
Due the therapeutic nature of the coursework, I encourage you to pause at any point, until your session, to ensure you are getting the support you feel you need.
Impact of Relationship Endings
Relationship Endings Impact Every Layer of Our Being
PHYSICAL / NEUROCHEMICAL / PSYCHOLOGICAL / PHYSIOLOGICAL / SOCIAL / PERSONAL
Breakups, disappointments, dysfunctional patterns, and the push-pull dynamic of 'mini breakups' within a relationship are common nowadays, but this doesn't make them any less triggering, painful and traumatic.
To make matters worse we minimize heartache... others tell us we should be happy alone, to 'love ourselves more,' 'let go' 'find someone new' or 'get over it.'
This mindset can inevitably block our ability to process through the healing stages so we can effectively grieve and navigate internalized beliefs, fears, anger, shame and insecurities that impact our sense of lovability and self-worth, and can influence our ability to trust, love, and connect in friendships and future relationships.
All of which, impacts our production of oxytocin, serotonin and other 'feel good' hormones and neurotransmitters that allow for a sense of calm, self-worth, contentment and joy in life.
Five Stages of Breakup Recovery
Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, Lifting to Feeling Security Once Again
S.W.I.R.L provides an overview of the essential stages of healing from a breakup, as adapted from psychotherapist, Susan Anderson. I provide coursework as a major factor in my clients healing and feeling results.
Stages of Recovery Overview Video
PRIMAL STRESS RESPONSE
Devastation, anxiety, even panic attacks. Likely the most painful stage and you'll find yourself looping back into until fully healed. Ignites FIGHT/FLIGHT stress response as in life-threatening situations! Your nervous system is responding as if you are lost in the middle of the forest alone forever.
CRAVINGS AND LONELINESS
Acute “neuro-biological crisis” similar to heroin withdrawal, as it involves the opioid system and loss of oxytocin. Increase in adrenaline and cortisol, shifts in serotonin and dopamine so you to feel 'on edge' with digestion issues and more. Wrenching loneliness and may idealize ex, looping thoughts or obsessing for a new 'love fix.'
REGRET, SHAME, SELF-BERATING
Most critical stage when your heartbreak “wound” is susceptible to “infection” because it impacts your core and self-worth. To feel somewhat in control, we direct anger at ourselves with self-indictment and even self-hate. Our mind would rather feel powerful than powerless, so we take on an unrealistic amount of the blame.
Turning point in the healing process when you refuse to accept all the blame. Stems from prolonged feelings of helplessness and depression. Surges of anger and retaliation fantasies towards your ex or displaced on others. Learn healthy anger-processing tools, as this is essential to fully healing.
MOMENTS OF PAIN RELIEF
Moments of peace, lifting you out of the pain. Issues arise when we try to force lifting by depressing feelings or with maladaptive distress behaviors. Unprocessed feelings cycle us back into Shattering and the other SWIRL stages. Learning to lift with our feelings, self-connected, allows for healing and recovery, self-trust and Security rather than Shattering.
SELF-TRUST AND INNER CONNECTION
The proof will be in the feeling as you experience more Security, rather than Shattering. Practicing the tools and skills you learn in the Breakup Recovery Program, builds your Self-Leadership to resolve regrets, process heartache, emotions, triggers, shame attacks and mini-SWIRL's, empowered to calm your nervous system and feel Security within.