Authentic Emotions in Present Moment


Reveals our Truth

Needs our own Acceptance
Inspires Self-Compassion

Inspires Self-care
Change like the Weather
(emotions inevitably change like the weather)

Inspires Passion & Purpose

Encourages Dreams & Goals

outer CHILd


Acts out Feelings Inappropriately




Rebellious and Indulgent

Impulsive (including addictions)

Temper-tantrum Behaviors

Protesting Behaviors

Immediate Gratification

Repeats same old patterns

Fights Change (sabotages new habits)

'Wise Mind' can send messages to the amygdala. However, it's a dial-up connection compared to the information superhighway that links the amygdala (Inner Child) with the part of your brain that carries out impulses (Outer Child).

inner child

Feels overwhelmed and pressured with too much work or homework

inner child

Feels anxious at a social gathering

inner child

Feels heartache due to feeling unseen and devalued by partner

inner child

Feels angry and disrespected because friend is 20 minutes late


Feels nagging emptiness, loneliness, or boredom


Feels unworthy of promotion, fears asking boss even after years of proven success

inner child

Feels slightly jealous that her husband will leave for ‘prettier’ friend

outer child

Procrastinates, or gums up progress with indecision or perfectionism

outer child

Over-drinks, or overcompensates by oversharing personal information

OUTer child

Retreats (FLIGHT), reacts (FIGHT), or goes into people-pleaser overdrive (FAWN)

outer child

Scowls angrily at friend’s “excuse” and reacts by giving silent treatment

outer child

Eats 4 cupcakes & drinks 4 beers before passing out on the sofa

outer child

Seethes for years. Finally sends angry email to boss complaining about not being recognized

outer child

Yells and demands constant reassurance that he will never leave her for friend

wise mind

(adult self)

The key to Emotional Health and Self Leadership is to be in a state of intentional connection with your emotions and thoughts (Inner Child). This is also known as mindfulness.

Thus, instead of shaming, rejecting, avoiding, or blaming others for our emotions, we need to take 100% Respons-Ability. Responsibility gives us the ABILITY to RESPOND, rather than react.

This intention to connect with Inner Child (especially when triggered) is, in of itself, the power to engage our Wise Mind (higher thinking) and Outer Child won’t run amok in reactivity


Current emotions are powered by our history of emotional experiences, stemming from birth.


Most we’ve forgotten, yet they remain within our subconscious memory.

 Memories condition our amygdala’s stimulus-response system.


The amygdala is always looking for a threat and it picks up subliminal triggers.

Thus, if we're disconnected from our emotions (Inner Child), we will likely react automatically (Outer Child) before our higher thinking (WISE MIND) has a chance to consider a mature, self-caring, ideal course of action.


outer child

When we detect a threat (real or perceived); a fearful thought from our inner dialogue; or a subconscious belief, our amygdala triggers an urgent warning to activate an immediate response (Fight-or-Flight). 

The amygdala's job is to act first, think later. Within 100 milliseconds, Outer Child can react to a trigger. “I felt jealous so I yelled at my husband in the middle of a restaurant - I couldn’t stop myself.

Without mindfully connecting to Inner Child, Outer Child may irrationally react. Triggers are unique to us all, yet we share common triggers, such as perceived rejection, failure, feeling powerless, etc. 

build wise mind

practices and more

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Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.