Tropical Resort

SELF LEADERSHIP

WISE MIND

INNER CHILD

current emotions
memories

IMMEDIATE URGES

GENUINE FEELINGS

SPONTANEOUS

EVER-CHANGING like THE Weather

 

LIVING CONNECTED WITH INNER CHILD INSPIRES AND ALLOWS FOR:

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

SELF-AWARENESS

Passion & Purpose

Dreams & Goals

SELF-LOVE

Self-Compassion

Self-care

outer CHILd

Reactivity

Acts out EMOTIONS Inappropriately

IMPULSIVITY (BINGING AND ADDICTIONS)

DEFAULT STRESS-RESPONSES

(Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn)

DESTRUCTIVE patterns

Self-centered

Self-sabotaging

Rebellious & Indulgent

SPLITTING BEHAVIORS

ANGRY OUTBURSTS

Protesting Behaviors

Immediate Gratification

Fights Change

(sabotages new habits)

wise mind

(adult self)

The key to Emotional Health and Self Leadership is to be in a state of intentional connection with our own emotions (Inner Child). This is also known as mindfulness. We also need Emotional Health Skills.

Instead of shaming, avoiding, or blaming others for our emotions, we need to take 100% Response-ABILITY for our emotions. Responsibility gives us the ABILITY to RESPOND rather than react.

This intention to connect with Inner Child (especially when triggered) is, in of itself, the power to engage our Wise Mind (higher thinking) so Outer Child won’t run amok in maladaptive behaviors, addictions and reactivity

'Wise Mind' can send messages to the amygdala (Inner Child). However, it's a dial-up connection compared to the information superhighway that links the amygdala (Inner Child) with the part of your brain that carries out impulses (Outer Child).

LACK OF SELF-LEADERSHIP

EXAMPLES

inner child

Feels overwhelmed and pressured with too much work or homework

inner child

Feels anxious at a social gathering

inner child

Feels heartache due to feeling ignored and devalued by partner

inner child

Feels angry and disrespected because friend is 20 minutes late

INNER CHILD

Feels nagging emptiness, loneliness, or boredom

INNER CHILD

Feels unworthy of promotion, fears asking boss even after years of proven success

inner child

Feels slightly jealous that her husband will leave for ‘prettier’ friend

outer child

Procrastinates, or gums up progress with indecision or perfectionism

outer child

Leaves or over-drinks to 'medicate' anxiety 

OUTer child

Retreats (FLIGHT), reacts (FIGHT), or goes into placating overdrive (FAWN)

outer child

Scowls angrily at friend’s “excuse” and reacts by giving silent treatment

outer child

Eats 4 cupcakes & drinks 4 beers before passing out on the sofa

outer child

Seethes for years. Finally sends angry email to boss complaining about not being recognized

outer child

Yells and demands constant reassurance that he will never leave her

INNER CHILD

Current emotions are powered by our history of emotional experiences, stemming from birth.

 

Most we’ve forgotten, yet they remain within our subconscious memory.

 Memories condition our amygdala’s stimulus-response system.

 

The amygdala is always looking for a threat and it picks up subliminal triggers.

Thus, if we're disconnected from our emotions (Inner Child), we will likely react automatically (Outer Child) before our higher thinking (WISE MIND) has a chance to consider a mature, self-caring, ideal course of action.

 

outer child

When we detect a threat (real or perceived); a fearful thought from our inner dialogue; or a subconscious belief, our amygdala triggers an urgent warning to activate an immediate response (Fight-or-Flight). 

The amygdala's job is to act first, think later. Within 100 milliseconds, Outer Child can react to a trigger. “I felt jealous so I yelled at my husband in the middle of a restaurant - I couldn’t stop myself.

Without mindfully connecting to Inner Child, Outer Child may irrationally react. Triggers are unique to us all, yet we share common triggers, such as perceived rejection, failure, feeling powerless, etc. 

build wise mind

practices and more

 
 
 
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Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.