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Heal Your Insecure
 Attachment Style

Resolve Anxiety and Reactivity
Gain Confidence, Calm and Connection

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Improve Yourself.
Improve Your Relationships.

Are you stuck in anxiety, insecurities, resentment, anger, heartbreak or patterns like people-pleasing, conflict or sabotaging? It's likely you have an Insecure Attachment Style (Anxious, Avoidant or Disorganized). Recent research shows over 50% of our society has an Insecure Attachment Style. Our Attachment Style stems from childhood and it's at the core of how we feel about ourselves and others, impacting our emotions, thoughts and behaviors. Fortunately, with therapy, we can heal our Insecure Style to Secure.

Anxiety, Depression, complex-PTSD, OCD 

Insecure Attachment Styles impact mental, emotional, and physical health.

Gain Self-Worth, Confidence

Attachment styles shape our sense of lovability, purpose, self-care and self-trust.

Improve Relationships

Resolve patterns of dysfunction and difficulties building trusting, enjoyable relationships.

Maladaptive Coping

Insecure Styles result in maladaptive stress reactions and addictions to numb painful feelings.

Career, Values, Goals, Sense of Purpose

Affects our career, social interactions and how we perform in all aspects of life.

Why Focus on Treating Attachment?

The latest neuro-psychological research shows that most emotional and mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, self-criticism, addiction and maladaptive relational patterns are the result of insecure attachment and lack of secure relating skills and emotional health skills.​​​​​​​ 

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The good news is our attachment style is treatable! Healing starts with building a secure attachment style by learning evidence-based skills. Experience results you can actually feel by transforming your anxiety and insecurities into confidence and ​security in love and life.

 

Attachment Styles Impact Our Entire Lives

​​​​Our attachment style is at the core of how we feel about ourselves, our self-worth and sense of lovability. It impacts our feelings, thoughts, behaviors, neurochemicals and stress levels in each moment, along with our ability to achieve goals and form trusting, fulfilling, secure relationships.

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Sense of Self

Health

Self-Trust

Self-Love

Image by Toa Heftiba

Partner

Intimacy

Trust

Love

Helps Save Time & Money 

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Family

Friends

Parenting

Safety

Helps Save Time & Money 

Meeting

Career

Financial Health

Goals

Purpose

Signs of Anxious Attachment Style

  • Feel 'too needy'

  • Seek reassurance to alleviate anxiety

  • Preoccupation with approval and closeness

  • Self-critical and perfectionistic to 'get' acceptance

  • Caretaking, fixing and over-helping

  • Hypervigilance, anxiety

  • Reactivity and outbursts

  • Resentment, passive aggressive

  • People-pleasing and enabling

  • Comparing, detecting, obsessing

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Signs of Avoidant Attachment Style

  • Feel 'too pressured' 

  • Seek distance to alleviate anxiety

  • Preoccupation with independence

  • Critical of others to maintain emotional distance

  • Distancing behaviors, conscious or subconscious (substance use, over-gaming, over-working, over-spending and other distracting behaviors)

  • Discomfort with others' expectations

  • Feel suffocated with 'too much' emotional expectation

  • Subconscious fear of enmeshment or being taken advantage of

  • Discomfort with feelings of 'neediness' when needing connection

  • Subconscious core beliefs that view connection needs as weak, instead of realizing that connection (feeling seen, heard and valued) is a survival need much like water and food)

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About Me

Hi! I'm Athena McKee, a licensed associated counselor with 10+ years of experience in counseling and coaching, 40+ years of life experience :) and a mom of two teenagers.

 

Healing insecure attachment is life-changing. Rather than conventional talk therapy or passive listening, I incorporate evidence-based therapies and skills-building, such as Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy, DBT, Somatic Attachment Focused Therapy, emotional regulation, secure relating and communication, and social-emotional health skills.

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What's Your Attachment Style?

Anxious, avoidant and disorganized attachment styles are considered insecure attachment styles as they involve feelings of insecurity, discomfort, anxiety or depression. However, the way these fears are experienced and expressed is different. 

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Secure Type

  • Interdependent

  • Emotional Health Skills

  • Capable of Presence

  • Aware of Needs & Wants

  • Communicates Wants

  • Feels Worthy of Love

  • Conscious Boundaries

  • Self-Trust & Trusting

  • Self-Caring & Caring

  • Emotional-Responsive

  • Giving & Receiving

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Anxious Type

  • Abandonment Phobic

  • Anxiety

  • Hypervigilance

  • Compulsive Pleaser

  • Self-Critical

  • Protesting Behaviors

  • Boundaryless

  • Passive Aggressive

  • Self-Sacrificing

  • Emotional-Reactive

  • Fight / Fawn Reactions

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Avoidant Type

  • Enmeshment Phobic

  • Depression

  • Ambivalence

  • ADD, Dissociation

  • Distract with Work, Gaming, Drinking, etc.

  • Rigid Boundaries

  • Shut Down

  • Isolation / Distance

  • Emotional-Phobic

  • Flight / Freeze Reactions

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Disorganized Type

  • Phobia of Abandonment and Enmeshment

  • Anxiety & Depression

  • Fear and Distrust

  • Critical & Self-Critical

  • Protesting & Neglecting

  • Push Pull Dynamics

  • Volatile Emotions

  • Personality Disorders

  • Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn Reactions

Treatment Process

Build Self-Awareness

Make Sense of Your Feelings and Behaviors

We start by making sense of your past, build awareness in the present. Together, we identify your attachment style, triggers, core beliefs, sensitivities, maladaptive protective strategies, stress reactions and behavioral patterns.

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Learn Secure Skills

Emotional Processing and Communication

Learn nervous system regulation and emotional processing skills. Instead of maladaptively 'protecting' yourself from feeling emotions you don't want to feel, process feelings and gain empowering self-leadership. Leverage your emotions to realize your genuine wants and needs and clearly communicate them. Providing limitless opportunities to truly feel valued the way you want to be valued.

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Practice and Experience Results

Results You Can Actually Feel

The proof is in the feeling. Experience results as you practice your new skills. Break free from patterns of anxiety, resentment, guilt, shame, codependency, avoidance, reactivity, self-berating, distrust, people-pleasing, sabotaging and other patterns of maladaptive protective reactions and cycles of unprocessed painful emotions. Experience the profound benefits of secure attachment style.

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Client Experiences

I just wanted to say thank you. It is wonderful... for the first time in my life, I am seeing and feeling healing!!!!

The ability to calm my nervous system with regulation is something I didn't even know existed.  Learning DBT has improved my entire life.

Truly grateful for all you have done for me. I can feel such a shift. I've had dozens of therapists throughout my life, but have never felt benefits until now. Thank you!

Thank you for your help over the past several weeks. You helped me restore my self-worth and push my confidence to move forward with my life and career.

I used to have panic attacks. Now if I feel anxious I trust myself to self-soothe and feel better in a few minutes.

I hope you have a smile knowing how you are really having a healing impact on people! Thank you for helping me heal and learn to love myself.

My Credentials

Licensure and Supervision

License: Arizona / LAC-21511

Stefanny Balestracci / Arizona / LPC-18869

Certifications and Awards

  • Best of Scottsdale Award, Best Counselor 2019

  • Certified Relationship Coach / 08101704 

  • Certified Clinical Trauma Professional / IAPT

  • IFS-Informed Therapist (Parts Work) / IFS Institute

  • Level 1 Gottman Method Therapist

Education

MASTER OF SCIENCE PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING

2019

Grand Canyon University / Phoenix, AZ

MASTER OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION (MBA)
Human and Organizational Behavior

2012

Grand Canyon University / Phoenix, AZ

BACHELOR OF SCIENCE BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

2005

Arizona State University / Tempe, AZ

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© 2024 by Creating Your Balance

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You should not rely on content presented on this website or any program offered on this website for diagnosis or treatment of any health condition. Always consult a healthcare professional if you suspect you require medical or psychiatric treatment.

CONTENT PRESENTED ON THIS WEBSITE OR OTHERWISE IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS, OR TREATMENT OR A PROFESSIONAL THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP. CONTENT PRESENTED IS INTENDED TO PROVIDE GENERAL HEALTH INFORMATION FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT SHOULD NOT BE USED AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC ADVICE, CANNOT DIAGNOSE OR TREAT ANY MEDICAL OR PSYCHIATRIC CONDITION, AND DOES NOT REPLACE CARE FROM YOUR PHYSICIAN.

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