Although there is no such thing as having a “perfect attachment style,” we can work towards building a Secure Attachment Style that allows for the trusting, loving connection we are all naturally longing for.

Capacity to Feel Good, Seen, Heard and Valued

Learn to enjoy a sense of comfort and safety in relationship, as you prioritize your needs, values and boundaries. Be discerning, trusting and open to receiving love from those deemed trustworthy.

“Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness. One does not exist without the other.”

Esther Perel, PhD

TRUST AND CONNECTION

Even those with Secure attachment have slight ups and downs in relationships. However, having a Secure style allows for the trusting, loving connection we are all naturally longing for. Without the capacity for Secure attachment, we may find ourselves feeling stressed, triggered, and reacting with DRIFTS, default threat-responses and maladaptive protective strategies.

"A great deal of your success in relationships—or lack thereof—can be explained by how you learned to relate to others throughout your childhood as well as later in life."

Mark Manson

FORMED IN CHILDHOOD

Our attachment style forms in childhood. If we felt a consistent sense of safety, trust, and felt seen, heard, and valued, we tend to form Secure attachment. If not, we may form an Insecure style.

IMPACTED IN ADULTHOOD

We may have had a secure attachment from childhood, but our experiences in adulthood may have faltered our ability to trust and connect, shifting to an Insecure attachment style. ​

IDENTIFY TO RESOLVE

Fortunately, once identified and understood, we can resolve Insecure attachment (Dismissing, Fearful, Preoccupied) to Secure attachment - and balance the way in which we interact in relationships, forming Secure attachment with time.

The #1 characteristic of having a Secure attachment style is the ability to navigate protective layers of emotions in order to realize and communication your AUTHENTICITY, NEEDS, WANTS AND BOUNDARIES. This requires Emotional Health Skills, Boundaries Skills, Communication Skills, and action-oriented, Self-Care methods so you may build a healthy connection with yourself in order to form healthy attachment with others.

“A securely attached child will store an internal working model of a responsive, loving, reliable care-giver, and a self that is worthy of love and attention... an insecurely attached child may view the world as dangerous and see oneself as ineffective and unworthy of love"

Jeremy Holmes