Recent studies reveal that shame is the core of addiction, angry outbursts, reactivity, low self-worth, codependency, anxiety and mood disorders, such as depression.
Shame is a natural emotion that triggers a physiologic response of the autonomic nervous system. It tends to be so viscerally painful that we do almost anything to avoid it.
Many maladapative protective strategies and behaviors, including reactivity and addiction, work to 'over-protect' you from feeling the pain of shame.
In childhood, we learn to think "if I feel bad, then I must do something to make this bad feeling go away." We think avoiding our shame is "self-love." When it's actually self-abandonment.
is shame driving your life?
avoiding shame is an epidemic
This automatic tendency to avoid shame at all costs, is a learned behavior, passed down from generations. It's become a societal epidemic.
We need to learn how to feel into shame, unpack it, understand and organize it. This is what resolves and lifts the pain of shame.
WHAT IS SHAME?
Shame's job is to let you know what it believes is right or wrong with YOU. Shame is rigid and all-or-nothing. It tells you you're broken, flawed, bad, or inadequate.
When you understand your shame (authentic versus inauthentic shame), rather than avoid, escape, or self-medicate it, you can heal pain and resolve undesirable behaviors