Image by Lesly Juarez

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

We aren’t born knowing how to identify, understand and process our emotions. It's a skill we must learn and practice. 

Build your emotional health skills and realize the profound benefits and empowerment of working with your emotions, instead of negating, shaming, or getting overwhelmed by them.

 

SHORT STORY ABOUT EMOTIONS

good video to start with!

WHAT EMOTIONS DO FOR US

1

sense of purpose

Emotions directly reveal our passions, dreams, interests, aspirations, desires and values. This requires being connected to your emotions. Otherwise you may feel like you are running on empty and lacking a sense of purpose. Suppression of emotions leads to depression.

Taking a Break

"We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions."

Brene Brown, PhD

2

CONNECT WITH YOURSELF

and build self-trust

Your emotions give you real-time information that need your attention, and provide insight that only you have access to. For instance, anger reveals you feel violated on some level, real or perceived. You can learn to process through anger in an empowered way, without reacting by expressing it, nor repressing it.

 

If you lack the ability to understand the message your emotions are sending you (emotional literacy), your emotions tend to get 'louder' and 'stronger' with time (anxiety and reactivity). You may even start to react irrationally to your emotions (yell at your loved-one due to feeling anger and resentment).

 

If you continue avoiding your emotions (intentionally or unintentionally by self-medicating or finding other maladaptive ways to 'not feel') this attempt to 'silence' your emotions can lead to a sense of running on empty, numbness and even depression (freeze mode).

 

When you learn how to understand your emotions, you learn to connect and understand yourself. With practice, you build trust in yourself to be self-connected and responsible (able to respond) with your emotions, rather than reactive.

3

CONNECT WITH others

Emotions connect us, attract us, bond us, create LOVE, APPRECIATION, TRUST and a sense of BELONGING. Feeling EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED with reciprocity is a human NEED. Physical and verbal connection is not enough. We have a need to feel seen, heard, valued, and understood. 

 

Emotions allow for feelings of love, care, joy, excitement and connection in relationships. They also function as a compass to help us navigate relationships and build balanced boundaries

In Love

"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Brene Brown, PhD

4

motivate for action & GOALS

Emotions' purpose is to move us (the MOTION part of e-motion), towards or away from what we need or don't need in our lives. Emotions get us to take action! Emotions, such as anger and anxiety, ignite Fight/Flight response to get us to act (move at = Fight, or away from = Flight) ASAP to protect us and save our lives! They help us overcome obstacles and THREATS.

 

Emotions can also excite us to accomplish short-term and long-term goals. Emotions, like passion and desire, motivate us to "Fight" for our dreams and future by conquering problems. Emotions, like anguish and disgust, can alert us to leave and "Flight" a toxic job or relationship.

5

CLEANSING & letting go

Some emotions' function, such as sadness and grief, is to slow you down, so you may grieve through the pain and heal from disappointment and loss of people, dreams, expectations, failures, or situations. Sadness allows for acceptance and release, to let go and rejuvenate. 

Well Organized Closet

Emotional health skills are cleansing... "delivering the body from functioning as a storage room for suppressed emotions brings a sense of natural love and ease, a spaciousness in the breath, that we commonly call happiness."

Somesh Curti, PhD

6

reveal your PERCEPTIONS

Emotions are direct links to the way you perceive yourself and the world around you; messengers that tell you how you're feeling, who and what is important to you, your values, fears, expectations, desires and more.

7

breakthrough & heal

Breakthrough trauma, betrayal, shame and heartbreak; resolve depression, anxiety and anguish. With emotional health skills you have the capacity to identify, understand and process through painful feelings, anxiety, self-pity, depression, shame, resentment, and rage to feeling centered, calm and self-connected. 

"Hurt doesn't go away simply because we don't acknowledge it. In fact, left unchecked it festers, grows, and leads to behaviors that are completely out of line with who we want to be... that can sabotage our relationships and careers."

Brene Brown, PhD

8

access to calm and thriving

disconnected from emotions

merely sURViving
Disconnected from your emotions sets you up for an automatic Threat Response and amygdala-hijack - which disables access to your higher intelligence. This results in reactivity and living more like a lizard - as reptiles do not have the emotional capacity, nor intelligence that humans do.

connected to emotions

thriving
With Emotional Health Skills you gain access to the infinite array of complex feelings we humans ingeniously generate in each moment, along with stable connection to your higher intelligence for rational, calm, authentic decision-making, rather than reactivity.

fIVE keys to emotional health

WELCOME all EMOTIONS equally

Emotions themselves are not good or bad. All emotions are necessary and useful. It's the tendency to suppress emotions that increase their intensity and stir-up reactivity and negative behaviors.

identify multifaceted

emotions

Emotions are multifaceted and blend together. (jealousy is anger, sadness, and fear). Researchers propose 8 to 27 primary emotions - that mix like paint colors creating hues of 34,000+ distinguishable feelings.

realize INTENSITIES

SOFT, MEDIUM, INTENSE

Emotions are ever-flowing like ocean waves. When  soft, you may not notice. At MEDIUM state (or "mood") you become aware. At INTENSe

they're detectable to others, whether you want them to be or not! 

understand

emotions are information

Instead of automatically reacting or repressing emotions, learn to understand them. Emotions are not based on facts! However they're based on you: your unique beliefs, needs, experiences and more.

EMBRACE AND PROCESS EMOTIONS

Learn skills to feel, embrace, identify, and understand your emotional experiences, while processing through them. All emotions last a maximum of only 90 seconds if you accept and allow it. Also learn to communicate in relationships with self-awareness. 

 

access to calm and thriving

The Mood Meter, devised by Mark Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, provides a tool to identify your current emotion as specific as possible.

 

 important note

The stronger the emotion, the stronger we BELIEVE it's based on fact.  

examples: “I am afraid so there must be immediate danger" (panic), “I love him/her, so he/she must be good for me.” IN FACT: The stronger your emotion, the more you need to pause (unless in immediate danger) and use emotional health skills.

The Mood Meter, devised by Mark Brackett, author of Permission to Feel, provides a tool to identify your current emotion as specific as possible.

Aromatherapy Oil

"Is frustration or any other 'negative emotion' useful or worthwhile?​ Every emotion is valuable. The trick is to actually feel it - and then fully accept it.

 

Judging ourselves for feeling 'less than outstanding' or for being adrift from our divinity for a minute, or several months [even years] only keeps us locked in those negative states.

 

If we're condemning it, we're creating 'stuck-ness'. When we wipe the residue of judgement off the lens, we can see where more positive options are waiting for us." 

Danielle LaPorte, The Desire Map

12 reasons emotional health skills are difficult

1

Alexithymia: subclinical inability to identify and describe your emotions

4

Requires self-awareness and working into maladaptive protective strategies. It’s work!

7

Requires curiosity, self-compassion, and courage to connect with emotions in caring, balanced way

10

Myths about emotions (seeing them as weak, shameful, annoying, scary, barriers, etc.)

2

Emotions aren’t always comfortable, so we tend to auto-resist them

5

Toxic stress blocks desirable feelings such as joy (joy stems from Soothing System)

8

Over-thinking, over-analyzing, looping and shaming and judging painful emotions can block processing 

11

Requires full responsibility and self-compassion for our own emotions 

3

All emotions come from the same place (avoid pain, lose access to joy)

6

Emotions are spontaneous, 'childish,' and irrational - and aren't "perfect"

9

Lack of emotional attunement in childhood (common in our society, estimated at 36-50% of the population)

12

Fear of emotions due to past experiences of panic, shame, anguish, depression and more

 

STEPS TO BUILD emotional health

  • MOOD METER

    Begin by simply noting how you're feeling 4 times a day. This builds self-awareness and emotional literacy.

  • EMOTIONAL LITERACY

    What causes emotions and what are they trying to communicate? Learn the language of emotions.

  • PROCESS emotions

    This provides a step-by-step practice to understand and work through painful emotions. 

  • backdraft emotions

    Be prepared for backdraft emotions as you build emotional health  and the self-compassion that accompanies this.

  • daily triggers

    Identify your triggers and practice clear, ideal RESPONSES rather than automatic, irrational REACTIONS.

  • TRIGGER SURFING

    A power tool to have in your emotional health skills toolbox. 

  • self leadership

    Understand how our higher rationale functions with our emotions and reactivity.

 

 

If you are experiencing a crisis or an emergency dial 911 or Crisis Response at 602.222.9444

© 2020 Copyright Creating Your Balance LLC

Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided is not intended to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition.  It is not intended to substitute for the advice, treatment and/or diagnosis of a qualified licensed professional. Creating Your Balance LLC and information provided may not make any medical diagnoses, claims and/or substitute for your personal physician’s care.